Twists and Turns

Just a little rambling on and babble… nothing to see here. But this is a blog so… lol

Life is funny sometimes. Challenges around every corner. And sometimes we win and get an object or feeling of victory and satisfaction, happiness… Sometimes we lose and feel loss, regret, a blank void or depression. And sometimes we just push… Not winning or losing but merely putting off the challenge to face again, as that challenge never really fades away. Regardless of the conclusion of that said challenge or test, the main thing is to always learn from that lesson. Teach yourself what only experience can bring. That insightful knowledge of life’s trials and tribulations.

I’m not sure what’s next for me. Not sure if I’m going to move to Denver or anywhere else for that matter. Maybe saying I don’t know is the first step to finding the answers I seek.

I do know a few things. But the biggest thing I know is that I don’t know everything. And as the sun rises to east this morning, I hope to know more than yesterday before it sets in the west. I think we all wish a little bit that we had perfect lives with perfect happiness, but we all realize that perfection is an imperfect object of affection and a myth that no one can lay claim to achieve. Just a goal in which some live their lives trying to obtain, only to eventually realize what most already know, that our imperfections are what make us unique. And that each person’s perfect qualities completes someone else and their imperfections, making each other stronger and more complete by helping one another where the other is weak.

It takes two to dance, as well as to fight. I take blame for my part in many an argument, and while not alone in fault, much like dancing it takes a stronger partner to lead. Not better, but in each instance…. stronger. As I thought in the shower this morning, I came to a realization. That if you want something done, sometimes you have to do it yourself. That is not just about making new, but sometimes fixing old.

Can everything be fixed? No. You can’t force someone to dance with you. You can just lead your hand out and make a compelling pitch to why they should take it. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes you push it off to another day. But the only sure thing is that someone has to take that lead. Not everyone is strong enough to swallow pride, to admit that they feel weak or incomplete. And sometimes the person that had every reason to be angry, upset or just plain got screwed over has to be that one to lead the fixation of the problems.

In a not so perfect world, it’s not always the one that does wrong that says they are sorry. Or even attempts to ever repair the wrong they caused. Some just believe that they deserve to lose what was lost and give up on trying to make amends. Conscious is funny like that sometimes.

I don’t know if I’m deep, but I am definitely reflective. And I’ve done many wrongs in my life that I will always have haunt me. Some will never be able to be repaired no matter how hard I try. But what I can control is that attempt at redemption. A revelation that means that hope is only lost if you don’t try to in the first place. Things might never be like they were, but is a little of something better than not having any at all?

I know I’ve babbled on enough, and you probably stopped reading at the first sentence. But if not, I hope I made you think and maybe pick up the phone and ask someone to dance with you. I think I might today. I wish I could say for sure… Anger still bodes deep. But is losing something that important to you ever worth losing without at least trying?

Life… lol.